What is a "Rainbow Baby"?"Rainbow Babies" are the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it does not mean that the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and the clouds. Storm clouds may still loom over but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy, and much needed hope.
So it seems as though we caught our rainbow! Only two cycles after our miscarriage in June! WOW!
The end of September I had a "feeling" and took a test about 5 days early and saw a very faint faint line. That has NEVER happened before. I couldn't believe my eyes! Each day the line got darker and darker. We went away to a wedding in Cape May and I took another test when we got home that Sunday and it was a full fledge PREGNANT!!
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| Faint Line!!! |
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| Getting Darker... |
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| And Darker... |
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| TWO Dark Lines |
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| P R E G N A N T |
I was happy and terrified at the very same time! Going through the trauma of having a miscarriage leaves a lot of baggage (to say the least). So I decided to not obsess, not focus on it, not take pictures, not Google, not to journal, not to talk about it that much, not do anything the same way I did before and not tell that many people...including my Mom (which was hard).
My goal was to get past the appointment I had last time where I learned there was no heart beat and the baby had died (June 5th 2012 is forever burned into my brain)...the 8 week appointment. Sadly this time around in my early period of pregnancy (weeks 4 through 9) was not filled with too much joy & happiness, rather lots of "nots", lots of tears, lots of denial, lots of praying, lots of hope and faith. My prayers are what got me through each day and of course my loving boyfriend. I prayed for myself, for my strength, for courage, for faith, for my baby, and that my Daddy would watch over us and that THIS is the baby that was MEANT for us to have, to hold, to raise, to love....
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| The Serenity Prayer |
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| "If you wish for a life without pain. You'll never see the beauty of a rainbow after the rain." |
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| "Without the rain there would be no rainbow." |
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