Some words from the wise "keep your mouth SHUT" unless you have some real constructive advice coming from a place of experience. I get it....you are just trying to help, but being told to "relax" or "don't stress" just pisses me off! I'm not alone....check out the book "Bump & Grind".
We all know stress is not good for fertility but by people making comments like this it just adds to the stress by making you feel like it's more your fault then you thought it was which in turn actually stresses you out!! Well that's how I feel.....
Things you DO NOT SAY to someone TTC, especially if you are the type to get preggo if someone just breathes on you (my comments are in the blue):
- "Don't worry it will happen." (suck it!)
- "Just relax it will happen!" (my ALL TIME FAVORITE)
- "Stop stressing about it!" (really?!? thanks for the advice I'll be sure to tell myself that)
- "Stop trying, it will happen....that's what happened to me." (if I stopped trying I will not be pregnant EVER)
- "You're trying too hard." (No I'm not!!)
- "When are you going guys going to have a baby? Get on it what are you waiting for?" (okay)
- "Have you considered Clomid?" (ummmm it hasn't even been 6 months are you serious??)
- "Has <<Enter man's name here>> had his sperm checked?" (last resort...I can't imagine bringing that up after 6 months and 4 months of REALLY trying)
- "Just enjoy life now, once you have a kid everything changes, it's a lot of responsibility." (F@ck off...I'm not kidding... f@ck off!!)
- "Just have sex every day for two weeks & you'." (When I come back in my next life and our schedules match up perfectly for even one week maybe that's a possibility.)
People! I just need you to listen, most humans by nature are always trying to fix something that is broken or find the reason why. Well this isn't that time...just listen, support me and if you do have constructive advice just give it! If you don't zip your lip......I know it's hard!
The best things one of my friends will say each month is "keep bangin'"...because she knows!! It took her close to 8 months and each month was a disappointment but she always reminds me it's about the timing and if your timing isn't spot on......that diva of an egg is NOT waiting around for anyone! She does tell me not to stress but it's not just stress & relaxing....if that was the case I would have been pregnant my first three months trying....you know?
I am starting to get use to the comments but it can really be enough already. I am doing what I need to do, trying to relax, eat right, go to bed earlier (but this is real life)...things get in the way! When comments come from people who got preggo not trying or month one you lose credibility, unless you have "really tried".
I'd love to hear your own personal stories or things people say to you that piss you off or make you feel better, so please feel free to share in the comments! :)
